How Eric Met Wendy
by Boys Should Kiss Boys More
Summary: its kinda of a spin-off from Tools of The Trade. CANDY! Dedicated to 911girl -deviantart- who's like one of my bestest friends now. rated for later lemon, and yelling.


its kinda a spin-off of Tools of The Trade

A Candy story, dedicated to 911girl

OK. time to go.

How Eric Met Wendy

Chapter One...Life

Cartman's pov

I sat on my couch, ignoring the tv. Something was eating at my brain; that something was a thought that had come to me in the middle of the night.

And had woken me up.

Somehow, I had begun to wonder how Wendy and I had gotten together. There was never a big make-out session, never a romantic kiss, we just kinda.. Got together.. I couldn't help but wonder about it.

I don't remember feeling anything watching Wendy throguh the years, except for aybe one or two times.

I wasn't jealous when her and Stan, or her and Token, would date. I wasn't happy when Wendy broke up with someone. I just stood on the sidelines and watched.

When Wendy kissed me in the third grade, I thought maybe I felt a spark, but now, I can't even remember much of that day.

Once I learned that basically all of my male friends were gay, or in Kenny's case, bi, I went looking for different friends. Hanging out with your guy friends, only to be forced to watch them make out with eachother isn't exactly a fun saturday night. So, instead of hanging with the Band of Fags, one Saturday, I went to a bar, and found Wendy there, trynig to pull BeBe away from her barstool...

_"Goddammit BeBe, your therapist said NO MORE ALCOHOL!" Wendy yelled, tugging at BeBe by the waist. I walked up to them, I don't know why, but I did._

_"Hey ho's, whats the problem?" I asked casually. Wendy glared at me, and then resumed with BeBe. "Why do you keep trying, she's already wasted, taking her home won't do much." I said matter-of-factly._

_"Leave us alone Cartman!" Wendy yelled, though it went unnoticed in the pub. I slapped my forhead as she kept trying to pull BeBe-who was now hiccuping frequently-away. I pushed Wendy out of the way._

_"Shut up whore, I'm helping you." I snapped. Wendy bit off her retort, and watched skeptically. Carefully, I readied my hand... And slapped BeBe across the face. Her ehad snapped to one side, then she glared at me, breathing heavy right in my face._

_She moved to hit me back, but the alcohol made her miss, and she stumbled, and fell. Wendy shrieked as BeBe fell, and knocked herself out with the barstool._

_"Worked like a charm," I said, dusting off my hands. Wendy prodded her friend, then glared at me._

_"What the hell, Cartman!" She yelled, attempting to stand taller than me. I chuckled at her angry face, I don't know why, but it seemed amusing at the time. "Cartman, you could've killed her!" I shoved Wendy away from me, and pickd up BeBe._

_  
"Just shut up, and help me get her in the car." I hissed. Wendy mumbled under her breath, but I ignored it. Once we were outside, Wendy opened the door to my car- I left it unlocked, for quick getaways-and I tossed BeBe in the back seat._

_Wendy stood nervously on the sidewalk, her hands fidgeting. I glared at her, and she flinched._

_"WHat is it now? You need a ride home too?" I aked harshly, Wendy looked away sheepishly, and I huffed, and motioned to the passenger's seat. "Get in, bitch." I muttered. She slowly walked over, as if my car was going to eat her. "If you din't get in the car in the next 3 seconds, I'm leaving with out you!" I yelled; it had started to rain, and I didn't want to wait there all day._

_Wendy ran, and slid into the seat, and mumbled quietly._

_"What was that?" I asked. Wendy blushed, and lookde at me._

_"You can just drop me and BeBe off at my house," she said, I nodded, and began to drive._

_"You owe me ten bucks fo gas." Wendy's nervousness disinigrated, and her anger flared up._

_"What! You're the one that knocked BeBe out!" She yelled. I growled, and pulled over. She stared at me confusedly, and I growled again._

_"If you don't wanna pay, then get out, and take Thing Two back there with you! You acn walk home for all i care!" I yelled back. Wendy still glared, but didn't move from her spot, so I assumed she was going to pay me. "Thats what I thought."_

_Finally, I pulled up in front of Wendy's House. I carried BeBe inside, and tossed her on the couch. Wendy smirked behind me, but I pretended not to see._

_"Alright, ten bucks." I said, holding out my hand expectantly She sighed, and reached into her back pocket. She pulled out her wallet, and handed me a ten; I made a big show of checking to see if it was real, and then headed for the door. I weas on the doorstep whe she spoke._

_"Wait, Cartman!" She said, I turned, Just as she appeared behind me._

_"What nowwww?" I whined. To my surprise, she giggled, and pecked me on the cheek. I stood, stunnd for a moment, staring at her front door, but not actually seeing it. I turned on my heel, and walked back to my car, not really sure of how to feel about the whole situation._

_"Thanks." She said, and shut the door_

A knock on the door brought me out of my flashback. I stood up, and answered the door, to reveal Stan, Kyle, and Kyan.

"Umm, what're you guys doind here?" I asked, trying to be polite; Stan was sill a time-bomb, even after having the kid, and anyone who set Stan off, got a beating from Kyle. Frankly, I wasn't up to either of those today.

"Cartman, it's your turn to babysit Kyan!" Kyle said angrily. Yes, because we must ALL remember when we're supposed babysit the little brat.

"Right, right." I said, taking the baby-now 11 months old- from Kyle's hands. The red-head eyed me sceptically, and I glared at him. "I'm not gonna hurt it! Wendy would shoot me." Which was perfectly true; she treated the kid like it was her own.

Kyle and Stan said their good-byes -to the kid, not me- and left. I set the kid in the playpen they had brought over, and went back to thinking.

_"First, I want to announce the godparents. Kenny, as the godfather, for reasons that we have explained many times.. And Wendy as the godmother, because she really helped Stan out with the whole womanly-pregnant situation." Wendy squealed with delight, and I kissed her on the cheek._

_We had started dating after everything returned to normal. I could see how happy she was; she had always talked about waanting kids, I casually chaged the sbject everytime. I didn't really want any screaming kids running around my house, so this may be as close as she was going to get. I didn't tell her that of course._

_"Isn't it great, Eric?" She has, cluthcing my hand. I nodded, and returned her smile. Suddenly, Kyle called for another announcement. Wendy nearly had a heart attack as she watched Kyle kneel in front of Stan. I smirked, totaly expecting this, I'm sure Wendy had been too, but she decided to go all feminin, I guess._

This time Kyan's crying woke me up. I growled, but picked up the baby, sniffed; no stench, wasn't wet.. Which could only mean one thing.

It was hungry.

lol, a funny end, i know.

i just had to get this up for my dearest 911girl, who is the biggest Candy fan i know.

be back for the next chapter!

-LMK


End file.
